You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
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