His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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