Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Green mimosas i think yes
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Randomize
