Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
