Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
