I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
