so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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