I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
