do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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