I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
