Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
