just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
