No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
