you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
