I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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