How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I accidentally burped into my bong.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
