The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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