I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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