you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
