He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
