At least make sure they are 18
Why
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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