I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
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