I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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