i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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