new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
