Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
