You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
