Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You've changed since you got that strap on
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
