he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
