oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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