just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
