woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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