honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
