So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
