doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
