just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
