i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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