your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I need to sanitize my soul.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
