My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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