Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
