used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I am available for nakedness
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
