He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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