Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
