My first STD was from a foam party
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
