So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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