all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
