Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
