Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
