I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
