Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
