Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
