The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Will exercising make me less horny?
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